Monday, September 28, 2009

"Crusty" Memories of the Puyallup Fair

Had a great time at the Puyallup Fair on closing day—the weather was perfect, blue skies and sunny—but the food we ate was terrible.

I had only had a Tully’s latte to “eat” before arriving around 3pm, so I was starving. We all agreed our first stop was to get a scone.

The classic Fisher fair scone that I eagerly purchased had a congealed raspberry jam that didn’t –or wouldn’t—melt into the warm biscuit. The butter tasted inferior, and the biscuit itself was broken into pieces inside its nostalgic little waxy bag.

A couple people I was with wanted lunch, and I had heard Ed Murrieta of rave about the smoked Turkey Legs at the Young Life booth. So three of us tried them. Mine was very hot but awkward to eat—with no real tables nearby. The leg was gristly with all those annoying little bones to deal with, and most disappointingly—it did not even come close to tasting like turkey. It was very salty and not really smoky at all, in fact it tasted like it had been brined which would account for the interior color of the meat being as pink as ham with a similar consistency. After walking through one of the crafts buildings still struggling to eat it (and it really just tasting like salty ham on a stick) I threw it away...

After a few rides we decided to detour into the Beer & Wine Garden to rehydrate after eating the salt bomb posing as a turkey leg. A small beer was $6 and the medium size (20 oz) was $8. Kinda steep we thought...

I tried a $10 glass of the delicious Pepper Bridge Red blend from Hightower Cellars~the grapes come from Red Mountain. Next was a stunning 2007 Cabernet from Saviah Cellars, Walla Walla. This wine received 93 points from Wine Spectator--it had luscious brambleberry fruit with French oak vanilla, a nice undertone of espresso, and a loooong finish. Perfect.

After a few more rides (the Zipper never fails to terrify me) and the obligatory ride up Extreme Scream at sunset, I was ready to end my day with the justly famous onion fair burger. (Last year I got duped into trying the Earthquake Burger and regretted it—huge yes, but not satisfying, in that elemental best-burger-in-memory kind of way, like the Frisco Freeze of your childhood, or insert your own childhood burger memory here. So off we went in search of the perfect fair burger, which can be a little confusing as so many of the burger places tout themselves as having the best burger at the fair.

A couple of friends opted for a “healthy” dinner (from a booth the name of which escapes me) of rice and veggies and pork or chicken on top (at the Fair?? Are you kidding?).

This booth had the ugliest examples of different menu items on petrified display that guaranteed I would hold out to find the childhood fair burger of my dreams. It looked like “sh*t on a shingle” (as my frat brothers’ less than fond name for our fraternity cook Miss Mack’s signature dish). When I asked Jacob how his was he said it was cold. I told him it looked like "puppy got sick in the back seat of a hot car".

And then in the distance, there it was--Hamburger Myers "The Burger That Made the Fair Famous (since 1922)". I was so excited. The woman at the counter asked if I wanted cheese and onions. (Of course I want cheese and onions). The intoxicating smell of griddled onions wafting through the air as you walk the fairgrounds says “fair” to me as much as the smell of cotton candy and warm raspberry scones.

I watched the young teenager assemble my burger. The buns were disappointingly not being griddled, the cheese was put on the meat un-melted, and then a huge glob of cooked onions mounded and smooshed on top of the cheese (I guess they feel the heat of the onions will do the melt-job on the cheese, so why bother actually melting it on the meat?) The lady handed me my burger and explained that I could add mustard and ketchup, which I did.

I took my first bite and I cannot adequately convey my disappointment.

The hamburger is one of America’s greatest achievements. This burger was tepid, the buns cold, the onions scalding hot, and tasted like mushy sweet onions and since the onions had no color or caramelization from the griddle--they just seemed steamed, and lacked flavor.

And no meat flavor at all.

The side of (frozen) crinkle fries were lukewarm and toughened from sitting under a heat lamp too long. If I wasn’t so hungry and tired I would have asked for my money back. And believe me-- I should have asked for my money back...

A couple others in the group went for the venerable Sales Family Krusty Pup (since 1923).

The batter was hot, but the dog inside was cold, and they complained the dog was very salty—indicative of low quality. I used to love the “corn dogs” at the fair as a child. I cannot recall when they became “krusty”, but I have to ask at these inflated fair prices --can’t we all try a little harder?

My group of 8 friends and I spent around $800.

And all of us left the Puyallup fairgrounds with disappointing memories, and dreams of fairs past when people cared about better food and made an effort.

How sad.


John I said...

Eight. Hundred Dollars. Wow. Just think you coulda had dinner for 4 at Rovers for that.

Andrew @ EcoQue said...

Well, when a vendor is trying to serve hundreds of people at a reasonable to low cost, quality is going to be the first casualty. I had a similar experience at the Bite of Seattle, where the only decent food being served, was in the queue organized by a certain notable Seattle chef.